Now or Never
by Cryogenetic Alchemist
Summary: PeterBobby Slash. Bobby's POV. Bobby witnesses a moment between Logan and Peter but has feelings for Peter himself. Will he tell him what he saw and how much he wants to be with him?


**Disclaimer:** The characters in the following fic, Bobby, Peter and the rest of the X-Men are all property of Marvel. The song "Rapture" is property of Made records.

**Rating:** R for language, a scene where Peter and Logan share a moment in the communal showers.

**Author's Notes: **For starters, this is my first fic so it might seem crappy and there might be a few errors. Hey gimme a break though, I did it in one night during a multitude of emotions. I wanted to write one because they weren't enough of them with my favorite pairings. One of which is Hank/Bobby as well as Bobby/Peter. Keep in mind this is my first try and I missed quite a few issues during the Fire & Brimstone arc.

**Based on: **Ultimate X-Men. Ever since they hinted at Colossus' little crush on Wolverine; I got hooked and decided to write something with the two. After having that craving fulfilled by an author named Blu, who wrote a beautiful trilogy on Peter/Logan, I settled to write this one here. Enjoy... I hope.

**Summary:** Bobby & Peter have grown pretty close after what happened during Weapon X, little does Peter know that his friend is slowly falling in love with him after how much time they've spent together. However, Bobby knows something that could potentially ruin their growing friendship.

**Feedback: **The non-existant ego must be fulfilled hehehe. Nah but seriously, leave some if you think it's deserved. Thanks.

**Now or Never**

by **Cryo-X**

_Shit. _

_"I'm late again"._ It's about the only coherent thought I have in my head right now as I'm sprinting to class. For the past couple of days I've been so distracted...

I get to the doorway and pause for a quick second, then I try my best to scurry to my desk without getting told the obvious.

"Sorry I'm late, Professor Xavier. I promise it won't happen again." It probably won't do any good seeing as this is the fourth time this week I've been late to Advanced Physics class. Not to mention the fact that my teacher's the most powerful telepath on the planet.

Right before I get to my seat I get startled by something. "Whoa." escapes my mouth.

/Bobby, you can't keep doing this. After class I want you to see me in my office, no excuses. Is that understood/

I'll have to remember to thank him for not embarrasing me in front of the rest of my teammates. The newest member, Warren Worthington III a.k.a. The Angel's sitting next to me; last thing I want to do is make my flaws known to him too. He probably wouldn't give a damn, he's keeps to himself most of the time and has his own problems.

I give the professor a nod and a mental _"Okay"_ before getting to work quickly.

Class is almost over pretty fast but I'm not exactly jumping for joy about it. The prof's probably gonna give me a good lecture or two and then who knows what...

"Students, Please remember to study over the weekend, you all have an exam coming up in a few days. I expect you all to do well, so don't disappoint me." He eyes me when he says that with a look so hard and obviously directed at me it would shatter me, the Iceman...like nothing. Wouldn't ya know it though, a small smirk to reassure me. Still, I'm amazed how intimidating he can really be, I snap back to reality though when Kurt bamfs out of the room and leaves a faint trace of that brimstone stench. Eugh.

All of us give our usual response for hearing there's a pain-in-the-ass test coming up meaning we'll have to cram our asses off.

"Yes yes, moan and groan about it now but remember you're all better off here than in some public school. With that said, enjoy your weekend, my students. I'll be taking a trip with Scott and Jean to clear my mind for a few days, I haven't been feeling too well as of late."

Kitty gets up and starts packing her stuff into her bag with a look of concern in her eyes, and asks him "Are you alright Professor? I could go with you if ya want y'know.." A quick gesture with her shoulders to show she's worried.

"No, it's quite all right Kitty. It's just that a change of scenery would do me well after what happened with Magnus last month."

She sighs. "I hear ya. That won't be off my mind for a few months after what you all told me. Hey, but don't hesitate to lemme know if you need anything, ok?"

"Agreed." It's not often the Prof lets out a genuine smile of comfort. It's the kind of smile that screams you're loved and it shows. It rubs off on all of us, I guess it's one of the little perks that haven't driven me away from all the mutant madness here. I've come to love it.

"See ya later, guys. I'm off to the movies with some friends, we're gonna go see Torque; awesome movie from what I heard!" She really lights up a room sometimes, other times she can be a real pain; but there's a balance to almost everything in life.

I hear a familiar voice from behind, "Kitty, I never knew you could sink so low and see that garbage." Then a brief chuckle to end the remark.

She scowls at the insult. "Yeah yeah, Tin Man." Then sticks her tongue out. "Well, bye people."

Warren stretches his wings and leaves with a simple wave; not exactly a people person from the looks of it. Ororo walks up to the professor and leaves something on his desk, probably make-up assignments then makes her exit. That just leaves me and Piotr Rasputin. _Colossus_ in the field but we all just call him Peter. Oh yeah and um he's also someone I've been watching real closely for a while now... I glance at him from across the classroom real quick and give him a subtle smile, he gives me a little thumbs up or a big one if you consider the size of his huge hands.

"Ahem, Remember Bobby, once you finish dropping off your things in your dorm I expect you to be in my office in ten minutes. No drifting off into space." Wait a minute. Weird. Sometimes I wonder about the professor, like he knows alot more about us than he says. I brush the thought away and leave the room. Just then Peter comes up behind me and taps my shoulder, "What was that all about? Is something wrong Bobby?" he asks me and it just makes me feel great. "I've been missing class, that's about it."

"Yeah I noticed, I was wondering just why you've been acting strange; you sure you ok?" He tilts his head just a bit.

A sly grin. "It's your fault." Lately, I've been throwing little hints that I really like him but I don't know if he's caught them or not.

"Um, Right." He looks at me awkwardly, because he either got what I meant; or thinks I'm a schizo. I give him a pat on one of his massive arms to let him know I'll catch up with him later.

"Whatcha standing around here for? II'll see ya in a bit, we can hang out or something. Expect me to knock on your door later." After a moment of hesitation, he nods and then heads off.

I go through the double doors of the professor's chambers, he's got good taste if that means anything; plenty of plants and earth tones to make up for his um-- spookular..ness.

It felt like I was in there an hour or so before I could make my escape, and here I thought I was overreacting.

As I'm walking through the mansion on my way back from the prof's office, I recooperate from the lectures I so knew I'd get from him, coupled with the nice offer to help me out with the work I've been falling back on. Pretty cool for a bald mutant guru, I chuckle to myself.

As soon as I'm out of there, I'm excited to see Peter so I rush to kitchen, grab a Hi-C then I'm running up the stairs to his room.

See... Over the last few weeks, we've grown pretty close; the way Hank and I were before he started brooding like never before. I barely see him anymore except on missions, and even then he just doesn't seem the same. I've been laying off him though because he's going through a rough patch right now. Still, if Hank thinks I don't notice he's drifted away from me, he's dead wrong. I don't blame him though, love or rather the loss of love can hurt someone in the deepest reaches of their soul. Jeez, listen to me, I sound like a bad melodrama. Anyway, I've really been hoping Hank can come to his senses and just let me know he's still my best bud; because I'm still his dammit. This thing with him and Ororo's been on the rocks lately because Hank gets discouraged too much, he once told me he thinks he isn't good enough for her. I know that feeling, the feeling of not being able to live up to someone's expectations. Man, I miss him. I miss the times he comes up to me to comiserate on things, dperessing really but still somehow comforting.

I walk down the hall and overhear Kurt singing something to himself in German from the balcony that sounds so beautiful, even though I don't understand a word of it. I stop dead in my tracks just to listen for a second and it's really cool that he's such a good-natured person despite his looks. Which aren't bad when I think of it, his personality adds to his overall charm y'know? Hehe, Kinda like me...or atleast I think so. I strut down the hall with a big smile I couldn't possibly hide.

I get to Peter's door then knock but he doesn't answer it. I go ahead and go on inside telling myself maybe he's got headphones on or something. Even though I know he's just not there, but he's let me inside his room a few times without him being there so it's no biggie. Even without him here, the room makes me feel good; it'd just be so much better if he was here now.

For the most part, it looks a bit different now. He's moved a few things around like his posters of T.A.T.U. among other things. I think they sound pretty good, it's just that the lesbian gimmick wears off fast. He's got some sketches on his little endtable, Peter's a big fan of art drawn from life and once he even asked me if I wanted to model for him. I told him I couldn't because I wouldn't be able to stay still for more than two minutes, he got a good laugh out of that one. Seems he hung up two posters of Giselle Bundchen, but I get the feeling they're a bit much. I've come here quite a lot to spend time with the big guy, it's what I call him like I call Hank, _Blue _now. Whenever we chill in here, we never get bored; it's one of the reasons I do it almost every night. Sometimes just to sit down and watch a movie, or other times we talk about things we want yet can't have.

Which brings up the reason why I'm so sidetracked lately, it's been driving me crazy.

It's Peter. Or rather the fact that I'm slowly falling for him.

I finish my Hi-C and toss it in his little wastebasket, he's actually pretty neat compared to Ororo or Kurt. I crash on his bed and let out a big sigh. "Damn. Where are ya, man?." I could always go down to the living room and play Soul Calibur II, the guys hate the fact that I use Astaroth; a mountain of muscle who can cut other players to mincemeat with a big axe. Hell, I could head to my room for a while and sing along to the Riva Mix of _Rapture_ by _Iio,_ God I love that song; even though it annoys everybody when I blast it at high volume. Kurt says there's better music in a David Hasselhoff album, Hank said it was just another single in a long line of computerized techno music. A big grin just thinking about it. Peter's the only one who can stand it though, he said he likes the lyrics, little does he know the song reminds me of him.

"_Mi amore, don't you know? My love, I want you so.. "_

_"Sugar, you make my soul complete, Rapture tastes so sweet" _

_"Since we connect behind closed doors, spark this fire even more"_

_"No telling where we will be next, surrender to your rapture arrest" _

_"Lay your head let the slumber float, can't resist that's why words were wrote"_

The lyrics leave my mouth softly...

Weird how things grow from simple to complicated faster than you can blink. When I first met him he seemed distant, I guess because he wasn't too familiar with things; bit by bit though he opened up. Just before Weapon X, he asked me to go rent a movie with him and watch it; to get a feel for American Movies. I settled for Godzilla 1985 with Raymond Burr, I wanted to show him just what true camp is especially when it's dubbed by the U.S. and altered to make the russians look bad.

He insisted the Hunt for Red October and promised to point out all the errors in Russian stuff that he had a gripe with. Soon as that was over, I slept over on his floor and we kinda started talking nonsense about our childhood memories. His was a lot worse off then mine, but he shared some pretty cool memories with me. Mostly about his little sister, Illyana. How he misses her everyday while he's here and she's back home in Russia.

Our friendship grew and grew, until one day I realized I had the hots for him and then some...

It may have started when I was locked up with him in that Weapon X cell, the way he soothed me by telling me Logan wouldn't let us down. God. He said it with so much heart that I believed it and didn't think twice. Then, after seeing what those sons of bitches did to Hank then Logan, I was in shock to the point of losing all feeling and wanting to murder them in cold blood afterward. Even after hearing the horrible things I said I'd do to them, Peter held me. Not freaked out or anything. I finally broke down crying, Cyclops, Jean, Kurt and the others respected that and kept quiet for a few hours; even the Juggernaut.

Peter never let go of me, didn't eventually push me away or tell me to stop crying. He just was there for me, something I'd never expect from him at all.

A few weeks after that mess was over, him and Logan started going out on walks during the middle of the night ready for any punks who'd try anything. They came home with a few victories, small but every little bit helps right? Yet, I noticed Peter would come back to the mansion in the morning and be silent for hours, then he'd hit the sack. Logan seemed to be a touchy subject for him, whenever I'd mention him he'd start acting kinda weird. I just summed it up as me being annoying and nosy, but little did I know it was something more.

One day after feeling pretty sweaty, I decided to hit the showers and saw something I would never forget. See, The communal showers weren't very private but I figured no one would be there plus I was gonna be fast anyway. When I got down to the lower level and got there, I froze.

It was Peter and Logan.

Close.

Closer than I'd ever imagine.

Logan had his back turned to Peter with an arm against the shower wall , his face stone cold and eyes closed. Peter towered over him and had a hand on his friend's shoulder blade, sliding it over his skin gently; he had his head down...facing the floor. Logan gently lowered Peter with a hand on his shoulder, Peter looked so innocent when he crouched down to Logan. Then Logan pulled Peter toward him and nuzzled his face into Peter's chest, I could've sworn I saw him lightly bite his shoulder and neck. Logan was primal like that. He gave him a short but sweet kiss then bit Peter's lower lip, he stopped himself and Peter asked him softly "Did I do something wrong, Logan?."

"Nah, Pete. It ain't you, it's me."

Then he said in what sounded like a gruff yet still honest sadness, "Sorry, big guy but my heart's with someone else. S'much as I wanna make you feel good, all I can do is be is yer friend."

"...Is it Jean?" left Peter's lips barely a whisper, but I could make it out even through the hiss of the warm shower hitting the floor near them.

Logan turned away and told him "Yeah."

"I understand, my friend. Thank you for telling me the truth." Just hearing that was heart-wrenching to the core. At this point I was starting to feel filthy not from the dirt all over me, but because I didn't pull away from witnessing this exchange between the two of them.

I wake up from my daydream when I hear the door open. There he is.

"Hey!" I get up from the bed and pounce on him. He's got a bag of Burger King with him and I'm starving.

He laughs and smiles at me. "Hey, Bobby. What's up?"

"Nothing much, I was bored out of my mind-- Well, not really. Just that it kinda sucked that you weren't here when I got in." I give him a big puppy face, just to make him feel a little guilty. He puts an arm around me.

"Sorry I wasn't here when you came in. I had the impulse to go and get a few things. Hey, you Hungry?"

"Seriously! Whaddya get me?" Nothing could possibly wipe the smile off my face right about now. I get that wave of relief that makes my day everytime I see Hank or Peter, like being reminded things are okay. He opens up the bag and pulls out a Whopper, two King fries and a Big King. I unceremenoniously grab the Whopper, unwrap it and start scarfing it down. He takes a bite out of his burger and then gets two cans of Pepsi from his Mini-Fridge..

"So what do you wanna do today, big guy? Personally, I'm not in much of a going out mood tonight for some reason, but um we could still go somewhere though if you want." I finish the burger before he's even half done with his...

"Yeah, me too. We could always just stay up and settle for what we always do, or we could go to your dorm or something. Oh yeah, Kurt asked me on the way up here if we want to go with him to Times Square just to walk around. You want to?" I can already tell he doesn't exactly want to go but if I go he just might follow, but I want him all to myself for the night.

"Nah, I think I'll stay in, 'sides the place brings me bad memories at night. You?" God, I hope he stays.

"Yeah. I think I'll stay, I don't have anything to do at all tonight so I'm all yours." The giddiness hits me all over I can't contain myself any longer. I get even closer to him on the bed, trying my best to make it look like friendly affection but it's something much more.

He ruffles my hair a little and laughs then he starts tickling me, I can't help it so I start poking him in the sides just to get back at him. Poke. Poke. Then I must've got him in a soft spot because he twitched and started giggling. James Earl Jones as Darth Vader springs to mind. "I have you now!" We both laugh in unisom as if we couldn't care what happens tomorrow. He gives me a big smile before I stop and lay next to him with my back on his chest and his warmth numbing me, he wraps his arms around me completely. Then without thinking, I take one of his strong hands and give him a light kiss on the back of his hand. Stupid.

Bad move, Bobby. But I just couldn't help myself, or atleast that's what my mind's trying to convince me of right now. I'm dreading that moment, the moment of weirdness that'll probably make things worse. Something I've had a knack for as far as I can remember.

I feel him take a deep breath, maybe he's just as scared as I am. The suspense of not knowing when and what he's gonna say makes me want to die.

"Bobby?" So calm and innocent, and with so much strength to disguise it. "What was that for?.."

I say the first thing that almost always comes to me whenever I make a mistake, or just realize that I'm an idiot.

"I-- I'm s- sorry, Peter. I-" I'm so scared that my brain can't form words, I brace myself to be pushed away. My body's about as motionless as the ice I control with my powers-- will he freak out, accept it or what? God, let me know already!

"Bobby... " Another deep breath coming from his forged chest, and then he strokes my hair saying what I could've only hoped for at the moment. "It's ok. You can tell me. Th- there's something I need to tell you too, Bobby."

As soon as I heard that, I knew what he meant. He didn't even have to tell me, because of what I had seen that night between him and Logan and also because I could feel it, but the thought that he doesn't know I saw everything is killing me. It's been months and I still haven't told Peter what I saw that night, and I'm starting to feel it's either now or never.

To be continued...


End file.
